Online dating is depressing
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Problem is as u as we are offended by our choices of body type no one is going to find permanent true love. I promise you worth a bubble bath and to celebrate you!!. Well thought out messages never returned, not even a polite not interested. Thing is, people are more judgemental online. You con about it applied to you, but you apply it to others and Want to. Voted up, interesting, useful and downright awesome!!. So stop spreading this feminist poison.
Do women have it a lot easier than men, and do hot people in general have it the easiest? I know what you might be thinking: yes and yes. Millward created 10 fake OKCupid profiles with similar sounding usernames, with the same written profile, personal stats, level of education, etc. Each account had a different photo of a man or woman of varying attractiveness. Every man and woman online still has criteria that must be met by people who want to date him or her, and every guy and girl is still in direct competition with every other person of their gender… Whereas before a man just needed to be the best looking guy at work to get a date with a colleague, now he needed to be in the top 10% of all men to get a date with one of the women in his city. You have far more access to singles than ever before. But so does everyone else. Especially when it comes to men trying to write to women. At the current rate it would take the most popular man 2. And what do men write? I have dedicated an entire volume of my bestselling audio series, to how to write emails just like this. Be patient, write a better profile, and learn not to get so frustrated with men, and you can enjoy online dating a lot more. As a man, your takeaway is that the competition is fierce, and thus far, you have not been up to it. Stop blaming Match or women or your city for your failures and learn to market yourself more effectively. The full study can be seen. We can all agree that that is an abomination, it is a mockery of the most venerated institution we have. But the sheer fact that there are members female of that fringe demographic with souls dark as night does not fill my 42 year old heart with confidence. I met once a model of 22 who was going out with a 65 year old, Rod Stewart 45 married Rachel Hunter 21, Chaplin 56 married an 18 year old. It kind of makes you wonder. Last month I was in Russia for a business trip and to my shock I was getting hit on by 19 year old girls. I was aghast, telling them that I was old enough to be their father. By the way, my grandpa 56 married my grandma 35 so not such a good example there. They are trying to escape from their lives and get a green card. They know how these men live in a fantasy world so can be easily manipulated. It is not a compliment, they are using you. Why do you think they are desperately seeking you out? A 20-year-old wanting a 90-year-old so badly? Also, these old guys in Hollywood should never be compared to regular old guys. These men have money and fame. Everyone is attractive if you have money and fame, lol. Majority of women, especially these days, will not settle with someone who is a million years old because we have so many options. Like Evan said in an article awhile back, why settle with an old man who works, has a nice personality, has health and fertility issues, when she can marry a man close to her age with the same qualities and has better health? Not all women are attractive to older guys old enough to be their great-grandfather. Yes, many, maybe even the great majority of younger women would not turn down Brad Pitt or George Clooney. Women receive so many that we barely have time to respond yet alone send. Some men care very much what you say. Those are the men you want. They are looking for a person…a person they click with. But, what makes us feel like a piece of meat is different. Women will think the guy is a creep if he said it, while the man will feel good about himself if the woman says it to him. Now take that to education or employment. A little advice would be to use the 5 love languages quiz to build your profile, as well as talking about things you see yourself doing with this partner. Stay away from things that cost a lot of money, however. I love to travel, but if you word it wrong, it can sound like you want to travel A LOT, and I may not be able to afford that. Even to a man with money, that can sound like a sneaky way to measure his monetary worth. If you are a toucher, say so. A man who likes that will see it in bold letters because he IS reading, and searching for what he wants. We see your attempts a mile away. I would say that if anything, we are too sensitive to it such that we are more likely to misread something innocent, than not see a sneaky attempt to look for a man of considerable means. I should note that some men are more than willing to trade their money for what they want in a woman. You will find them on Sugar Daddy sites. They understand that it takes money to get that. The rest of us want a woman that would live in a tent with us if we lost it all, just as you want a man who would still live you if you lost your looks, say from a horrible traffic accident. God, as a man, reading the basic, common sense rules about online dating, I am absolutely flabbergasted at how simple it is; even a 5 year old would get it. Does anyone have any SOUND advise to give so I can reach that goal? The odds are stacked against men. What if the man whose grammar was less than great happened to be Mr. Right and he just never got a shot simply because of the pre-conceived notion that the women who read his message denied him a chance? I expect the man who made it to show the same care and devotion in every aspect of his life. I expect the man who made it to show the same care and devotion in every area of his life. Which is to say, none whatsoever. You even do it yourself in your post here, implying there is something wrong with most men. So stop spreading this feminist poison. No self-respecting male believes that crap anyway. Never met anyone who had obviously misrepresented themselves. No one tried to jump down my pants on the first date. I write to many men online first to get higher quality dates. Sure, sometimes you get annoying messages, but I just laugh it off as part of the game. You are So lucky! I try to screen the men I meet from online very carefully and yet my experience is nearly opposite to yours. Two tried to jump me on the second date, two turned out to be felons. Of the remaining two, both were attractive and intelligent. Stop blaming Match or women or your city for your failures and learn to market yourself more effectively. I asked him what he thought we might have in common since there was no way to tell , and never heard back…big surprise. Even in online dating men still initiate the vast majority of interactions. Because it is so easy for women to do nothing and wait for him to do it. I was just was at a site where I could brows females but had to pay to talk. Guess who initiates the discussions there? Guess who pays for the first date? Where the hell is feminism now? It became about avenging the wrongs done to women. It has since become an exercise in ensuring women get whatever they want. Equality is all well and good when it benefits women, but suddenly the cries for equality stop when it comes to women asking men out, proposing marriage or paying for dates. Out of all the women I know, only one got a marriage with a man she pursued. In fact, I got a lot of weird looks when I tried paying for dates! After getting shot down like that, it was hard to motivate myself to keep doing it. Last weekend I practically had to wrestle my boyfriend for the check to treat him dinner for his birthday he really likes to pay for me. That seems to be enough, to make a genuine offer. Remember, the PUA industry was created for NON-alpha men who had little to no success in dating. The natural-born alpha men that most women want feel weird about women paying before a relationship begins. Most are ok with women chipping in or reciprocating e. Just like any other industry, there has to be measurable results. For most, the measure is how many women will bed them. For others it will be how many women they get to pay for them. Naturally alpha men have always had success in dating. It probably never occurred to them to ask themselves why they were successful. These alpha men want to remain independent. Or any combination thereof. None of which makes him feel good about himself. You get the next one, okay? That birthday dinner was the only time I ever did a check-grab with my boyfriend, because I thought it seemed tacky to have anyone pay for their own birthday. However, even there we eventually compromised by me paying for the meal, him dessert! My 17 year old daughter heard the guy fixing the kitchen sink talking and laughing with me. When I was on dating sites I would typically get 7-10 messages a day, when I changed something around it would jump to about 20. Out of all those messages I might respond to 5-6 a week. Give us something to work with. And note how few unsolicited approaches men receive and send out a few of your own. I chalk it up to luck and timing but I also know my profile can be improved. If you want to attract great guys, include a few things that are unique about you in your profile for us to write to you about. I often come across certain women that I am initially attracted to, but when I read her profile I am stumped about what to say. I just bypass those women. I have found that when a woman writes a decent profile and gives something to work with, she is much higher quality. Fortunately there are a decent number of them also. In short, I think guys have it harder in that we have to do most of the initial legwork. But that legwork can be very fruitful if you just stick to well written profiles of women that are in your league. Once I figured that out, the sex and relationship possibilities came rolling in. That is how it has always worked for me. Was inundated with loads of copy and pasted messages. Asking me to check out their profile blah blah blah. And also sent messages from men who clearly had not read my profile and just looked at my pic. Was a learning experience one that opened my eyes. Not one I would want to repeat, real life authentic in the moment experiences worked better for me. We work in completely different fields IT and academia. We had zero mutual friends or acquaintances. Another thing I find is that for my age group, opportunities to meet people in the real world are limited. Basically most guys I meet in the real world these days are my coworkers, which is a no-no for me. After my divorce, many of them asked me out. I went out with a few, and dated one for several months. None of them worked out, and after a year or so, I ran out of guy friends to date. You can both meet at least knowing for sure that the other person is single, looking and willing to allow for the chance to hit it off with you. You will have a much easier time composing a message to somebody who actually mentions tastes or passions that you both share, because you can ask more nuanced questions about them using your own knowledge of those interests. I should have saved myself time and effort through being yet more discerning in who I tried to contact. The reality is that the world is a diverse place and everyone is different. Look at the mentalities of the commenters here. Many differing viewpoints, and certainly many who would argue theirs over others. Everyone has a different philosophy and you have to find someone that is aligned with yours. The only way to do that is put yourself out there and make no apologies. Too many people list their requirements and too often they come across as seeming difficult, having too high expectation, or a little off their rocker. I probably get a high level of contact for a 54 year old. On a daily basis i get tons and tons of winks and likes to my photos which baffles me because i would presume if they are interested they would write at least a one liner. Im not sure if they are expecting me to take the initiative from there????? I had to laugh once before i posted the body of the profile , a guy said he liked my profile. I told him he must be psychic to intuit what I was about to write. There are so many men who write to me who are 50-79 years old who are looking for a 30-45 year old , and for me it a turn off because they seem delusional. I think Id get over that is they seemed attractive LOL. I find the online thing very entertaining. Even in online dating men still initiate the vast majority of interactions. Because it is so easy for women to do nothing and wait for him to do it. I was just was at a site where I could brows females but had to pay to talk. Guess who initiates the discussions there? Guess who pays for the first date? Where the hell is feminism now? However, the other night I went to a social event with people my age and a topic that interested me and I actually appreciated having online dating as an option. The event was outnumbered with other women, the one man I found attractive was talking to another woman the whole night, the girl my male friend hit on told him she had a boyfriend in a nice way , and so on. After standing in my heels for hours and paying a ton in parking I went home without anything more than a few minute conversation with a new man. After going on about 5 less than stellar online dates in a row, I do tire of it. Going somewhere where men outnumber women 8 to 1. Trying to talk to women who have the pick of the litter so they shun interest in you. Watching as women talk with themselves mostly, or if with men, the Alpha man in the room — 6-3, good looking, douche bag. When you do talk to a woman, they say they have a boyfriend — yeah right. And then go home smelling like a bar with your tail between your legs. Likewise, I am not in competition with any of the men who only want smokers, and generally not in competition with the men who are smokers since like tends to seek like in these matters. For whatever dealbreakers there may be for each person, it reduces the field significantly of who is actually in the competition. I was spending lots of money to post ads on various websites and got tired of the whole thing. I have not met anyone romantically, but I am having fun and enjoying meeting new people both men and women and going on different outings in and around the city. I love what Jenna said anytime I get annoyed at someone ignoring me, disappearing, rejecting me, or standing me up. I think THEY think the MORE pics they put in the more likely the most attractive successful man on here will email them. But do you think I could see him…. Something that would entertain a reader. Was a big success on OKC. This must be an LA thing. You would not believe how many comments I received on that picture. That was very very awkward for all involved. As for guy pictures. An obviously photoshopped picture as your main profile photo is a no-no yet I still went out with that guy several times. The weirdest in my experience was a picture of a guy hugging his 80-year-old mother. That tells me there are other things going on in his life besides online dating. If any guy ever thought I had too many photos, I never heard from him. I did get a decent number of emails, so I figure the quantity and quality of my photos were generally okay. I know a lot of my male friends that do online dating will look right past professional photos whether they are cheesy glamour shots or not because they are presumed to be doctored. I think men want a realistic photo and these just are not or even or they are they are presumed not to be. But several friends do and they get less interest overall. But put double that amount in non-pro format also. I had a groupon. No wonder I never meet anyone!! I actually tried last summer of taking a pic by my bike and it looked horrible….. I read about someone putting up fake profiles of beautiful women, but then made their profiles show them to be really awful people. If I am recalling correctly OK Cupid specifically asks to only use the service if you sincerely are looking to date, and not to use it for research. The Plain Jane who just got back from Peace Corp and is currently training seeing eye dogs, or the Hot Blonde with big boobs and a skimpy tell nothing profile? Which one gets more views? Which one gets more e-mails?
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